A Doubt Shattered By Grace

Gary Dey - parishioner:

As a convert this former Baptist, now Catholic had an experience with our Lord that sent chills down my spine. It was 3:00 a.m. in the morning when I felt compelled to go directly to the adoration chapel at St. Joseph Cathedral. Why I was to do this, only our Lord knew.

As is customary, our Lord asks that some always be present with Him in the blessed sacrament, but to my disbelief, the room was empty. Upon entering and kneeling, I thought, Okay, so what? Even though I was newly Catholic and entering the church, I had challenged, as Paul had suggested, every position of our faith … Paul had nothing on me! I couldn't see how our faith could really have all the mysteries or how Christ could be alive and present 24/7 in the chapel? I thought to myself, this must be a place where old people go to get away from other members of the family.

WRONG!!

As I mentioned, I was alone and kneeling, thinking that surely our Lord had time to hear all of my pressing issues. So I began to pray for many things: family, friends, health, finances, youth, our priests, the Pope, my sins …. you see, I said there were many things I had to pray for.

I asked myself how this monstrance with the wheat cracker or bread thing in it could be getting the full picture of my life? How stupid it woud seem to an outsider that I was praying to this golden circle, which the Church claimed to contain the Lord.

Time went faster than I thought, and after about twenty minutes of prayer, I began to open my eyes and gaze directly at the monstrance. At first I thought I must be tired because, looking directly into the presence of our Lord, everything seemed real blurry. The best way to say it is that everything was out of focus. THIS WAS THE BEGINNING OF THIS CONVERT’S LAST DOUBT OF THE PRESENCE OF OUR LORD.

It happened suddenly - the out of focus monstrance began to take shape … not fast but just gradual. Then it happened, our Lord’s face appeared with the crown of thorns. WOW, I nearly fell off the kneeler, and my eyes could not believe the image which was before me. You see, I left one important part out until now. In my struggles with doubt, I was asking the Lord to show me something so I might even believe just a little.

Our Lord stayed present for as long as I looked upon his face. This must have been at least 15 minutes. I did not want to leave, and all I could think about was to tell my wife what had taken place. "Do I stay or do I go home and share this?" I asked myself.

I finally went home, not even realizing how fast I was driving. I went into the bedroom and told my wife this special grace with which our Lord had blessed me. Upon waking, she just smiled and said, “I’m not surprised.” She knew all along that our Lord was going to make all of his mysteries known to me in His time. YES HE HAS, and I have other graces to share sometime in the future!

God Bless.